| 1980 | Jan 3rd | Played our first show of the year at Hunter's Humpy in Earlwood - John |
| gets into a fist fight on the footpath outside.....great start to the year!! | ||
| Jan | JANUARY WRAP-UP: | |
| Hunter's Humpy - very exciting! Good performance, small crowd, great sound. | ||
| Comb & Cutter, Blacktown - good sound, bad performance, large crowd, | ||
| small reaction | ||
| Maroubra Seals Club - Very good, great reaction esp. near the end. Old school | ||
| jocks turn up backstage to rave - a bit weird | ||
| Several new originals creep in: John's Don't Tell Me, Mark and John's | ||
| Says She Don't Belong, Ian's Out of My Window and John's Where Did You Go? | ||
| Jan 25th | News of definite recording dates on Feb 11-12th at Trafalgar Studios in Annandale | |
| Jan 31st | Bit of a break while John takes a holiday before more gigging | |
| March Melbourne trip is cancelled-rescheduled for April | ||
| Mark borrows bass guitar from The Transistors and collapses under the weight! | ||
| New Clones letterheads and business cards are very punk looking!! | ||
| A POEM ABOUT MARK'S PIMPLES [you've been warned-Ed] | ||
| If you've ever been frightened by a runaway dimple | ||
| you've not seen nothing 'til you meet a deranged pimple | ||
| this poem is meant to be simple, it's about Mark - the wonder pimple | ||
| If you've seen him and said 'I don't know what attracts me' | ||
| take a closer look and you'll see it's his acne | ||
| Pimples left and pimples right | ||
| Mark's not happy 'til he's covered in big pussey pimples | ||
| When he squeezes them they shoot four feet | ||
| they're the biggest pimples you'll ever meet | ||
| they stick to the mirror, they stick to the wall | ||
| they stick to the cupboard in the hall that really needs dusting | ||
| THE CLONES FIVE YEARS FROM NOW - Through the crystal ball | ||
| "After seven albums and fifteen hit singles with total record sales of over 70 million, | ||
| The Clones decided to call it a day. Mark is going to join The Transistors - another huge | ||
| Australian band; Noel has become a father to a six stone baby goat and John is off to | ||
| explore deep space. Ian has bought another sixty four cars and owns half of Campbelltown | ||
| and parts of Afghanistan." | ||
| Feb 3rd | Played Maroubra Seals Club for the last time. | |
| Feb 10th | Everyone is looking forward to tomorrows recording session with immense | |
| trepidation and plasticity.........we will be recording: Happy I'm With Her, Tired | ||
| of Hiding and Says She Don't Belong | ||
| Feb 13th | Wyong Leagues Club with Ol '55 - Ian and Mark are 1 hour 45 minutes late! | |
| We're changing our name to Ol '65 | ||
| Feb 15th | Bayview Tavern, Gladesville - Mark risks life and limb by bravely walking into the | |
| middle of Victoria Road to stop traffic so that Steve could get his truck in (in the | ||
| driveway - not in Mark!) | ||
| A POEM | ||
| A poem is a thing of beauty | ||
| to write one is my current duty | ||
| if I do not write this rhyme | ||
| that will be my only crime | ||
| Feb 28th | Amazing as it may seem, RCA Records have agreed to distribute our little record. | |
| Don't they know what they're getting themselves into? Well, yes - but they're | ||
| masochists! | ||
| We're re-arranging Tired of Hiding (now looking like the A-side) but David Hayes | ||
| wants to bring in........wait for it......A PROFESSIONAL ARRANGER!! Could it be - yes! | ||
| Iva Davies/professional genius.........he takes one listen to the song, laughs then drops | ||
| dead from the weight of his head. | ||
| Mar 5th | Castle Wine Bar-Newcastle. Played across the road from Doug Parkinson out of focus. | |
| Pell Mell support us from the audience - 2 year anniversary since John originally joined: | ||
| we all shake hands and face in the direction of Iva Davies | ||
| Mar 7th | Vicar of Wakefield, Dural - Excellent, fantastic, brilliant, superb, wonderful, great, nice, | |
| exciting, amazing, powerful, unbelievable, entertaining gig.... | ||
| We were supported by The States and Iva Davies who did a solo juggling act whilst | ||
| working on 58 new arrangements | ||
| Mar 25th | Time to update just a smidgin: The single will now be Tired of Hiding but we have to | |
| re-record as there wasn't enough acoustic guitar. We will only do the vocals and | ||
| David Hayes will play all the instruments!! | ||
| NOW AVAILABLE ON WEA RECORDS - GAYNOR BUNNING'S GREATEST HITS | ||
| Featuring classics like: | ||
| The Last Patootie | ||
| Dance the Wild Chanoonga | ||
| Free Me From Your Hex | ||
| I Love You, Immensely | ||
| A Theme for Bank Robbers | ||
| Radiation Has a Hold On Me | ||
| ....and of course, the hit single, Tie Me to Your Maserati! | ||
| FREE BONUS SINGLE Featuring a duet with Iva Davies on THE ONLY WORTHY PATTOTIE | ||
| b/w Why Do I Fry My Sausages? | ||
| MARK'S FOUR DAY FRANTIC DIARY | ||
| Apr 1st | Tuesday - wake up at 11am, shower and drive to Canberra for ANU gig | |
| Apr 2nd | Wed- Arrive back in Sydney at 5.30am, sleep until 9.30am and go to Trafalgar | |
| Studios to record single | ||
| Get home at 7.30pm | ||
| Leave home at 10.30pm to go and play at Stud's Disco | ||
| Apr 3rd | Leave Stud's 3.30am and go to Pancakes on the Rocks until 6.30am | |
| Go home, sleep until 6pm | ||
| Get up, have shower, leave for Stagedoor Tavern gig at 9.30pm | ||
| Apr 4th | Get home at 1am - EVERYBODY was there....Brian, John, David, Shelley, Noel, | |
| Gary, Bill, Larry and more! Write this at 5.24am as the sun is coming up | ||
| ..........Mark had a busy four days!! | ||
| May 5th | Well, the month is off to a roaring start with one out of five gigs being good! | |
| The Manning House at Sydney Uni saw the mighty power of The Clones completely | ||
| obliterate 400 screaming fans with fabulous renditions of Nips, Sharona, Some Girls and | ||
| Love is in The Air. Ice Cubes were thrown for good measure! | ||
| Banksia Hotel residency gets off to a flying start with 40 people instead of the expected | ||
| hordes..... | ||
| The Rock Garden is abysmal with 90% of the audience made up of sundry Transistors plus | ||
| Transistors and Clones fans.... | ||
| The Sundowner Hotel in Punchbowl marks the 1st Australian appearance of The Gumbys | ||
| who played in place of The Clones who were all suffering bruised egos at the thought | ||
| of supporting Ward 13.... | ||
| May 25th | RCA now tell us that our salubrious single will be released on June 4th - whether or | |
| not this is the truth remains to be seen - if it isn't, David Hayes' remains will be seen! | ||
| AN ODE TO A MENTALS SINGLE | ||
| Come Around would have to be my favourite record ever | ||
| I have never heard a song anywhere near as better | ||
| I sing it everywhere I go, I whistle and I hum it | ||
| I never thought I'd see the day my taste would make this plummet | ||
| Thought for the day: It's always easy to say hello but it's twice as hard to be a grapefruit | ||
| June 3rd | The Clones get busted by Queensland police at Broadbeach International Resort and are | |
| made to stop after just a handful of songs - some neighbours complained about | ||
| the noise...... | ||
| June 6th | WHAT WE DID ON OUR HOLIDAYS | |
| Well, The Clones returned to Sydney fragmented, disillusioned and distraught after | ||
| five amazing days in the "Sunshine State." | ||
| After being booked at the Broadbeach International for five nights we were cancelled on | ||
| our first night by the Queensland police. The place had a 50db noise limit which the | ||
| promoter neglected to tell us about. | ||
| Surfer's International Hotel contacted us to play at Juliana's for 3 nights. We played | ||
| only the first night and got cancelled! | ||
| Total earnings for the week - $330.00, Total expenses - a hell of a lot more than $330.00!! | ||
| Noel and David flew back to Sydney while Mark, Ian and John caught the train and | ||
| everyone was slightly annoyed by the whole experience! | ||
| June 19th | So, dear readers, since arriving back from Queensland many wonderful occurrences | |
| have occurred..... | ||
| The single was released on June 18th but we still don't believe it! We almost supported | ||
| Daryl Cotton (he didn't show up) | ||
| EXTRACT FROM JUKE MAGAZINE - June 30, 1980 | ||
| "The Clones: Tired of Hiding (RCA) - A crappy single that should never have been | ||
| recorded let alone released! This band have got their fingers up their bums. They | ||
| can't play and they can't sing - a lot of shit!" | ||
| EXTRACT FROM ROCK & ROLL TRIVIA ON 2JJJ | ||
| "The Clones have released a classic of modern pop. Superb playing and singing. | ||
| This band constantly take their fingers out of their bums. Literally thousands | ||
| will be sold!" | ||
| June 25th | On this day, John Salway decided to leave The Clones again.....goodbye John. | |
| July 17th | John has gone, life goes on (unknown poet). | |
| On Friday we played what were supposed to be our last two shows with John but | ||
| after the first one he said "I'm going home" and he did. Needless to say we fought | ||
| gallantly on against all odds and failed anyway! | ||
| Tired of Hiding debuted on the national charts at 98 and has gone to 84 in its second week. | ||
| It's sold about 1,000 so far. | ||
| July 24th | NOEL WRITES: | |
| "Well, what a day (RCA Record launch).....David Hayes promised us that it wouldn't rain | ||
| but it did - we still played. The Innocents got wet and so did all our gear. Lots of munchies, | ||
| we didn't talk much in between songs but Mark, in a fit of realism, said the magic word | ||
| and we won't get paid. What's so wrong about the word FUCK? | ||
| Aug 22nd | MARK WRITES: | |
| "Well, I figure it's about time something intelligent was written in this diary. Marty didn't | ||
| work out as expected.......better start this at the beginning! Marty Mather (ex-Loaded Dice) | ||
| rang a few weeks ago and offered his services on guitar and vocals. We tried but he | ||
| was too good....... | ||
| The single has now sold over 1,300 copies with no airplay and is unlikely to do any | ||
| better as no one will play it. Meanwhile, The Innocents have been on Countdown again and | ||
| radio has started playing their record. | ||
| We now have a new roadie called Peter who resembles the Hulk in muscles. | ||
| We've had good reviews in Juke, RAM and Rolling Stone. | ||
| We're supporting The Vapors on Sunday at Wollongong Leagues Club replacing | ||
| The Eyes who were too heavy......." | ||
| Sep 9th | NOEL WRITES: | |
| "Well it's about time something stupid was written and I guess I'm the best one to do it! | ||
| Work we've done but not enough, we broke a car and that was rough. Only two jobs | ||
| last week, this week is better. We're still only a 3 piece but that's not bad - our record | ||
| has sold 1,500 copies without airplay so we're proud - next time will be better for sure. | ||
| We're still very broke............" | ||
| Oct 8th | A meeting with David cleared the air - we'll work out a new system so our overheads | |
| are lower than now thus restricting ourselves to a three night working week. We will | ||
| get out of our contract shortly and are shopping around - also, Mark's van is still missing | ||
| in action! | ||
| Oct 11th | EPILOGUE: | |
| Today, Noel left the band - effectively putting a stop to all the effort, sweat, blood, tears, | ||
| spew, work and love put into the last four and a half years. Since that first practice | ||
| in March 1976 we have achieved a small amount of the original aim of the band. | ||
| From the beginning, we worked toward a day when Mark, Ian and Noel would be | ||
| successful. That day will never come........ | ||
| Through the years we have been through four different fourth members (Philip, Aly, John and | ||
| Andre) as well as a relatively short but successful period as a three piece band. | ||
| We have had a somewhat interesting run as one of the less popular bands in Australia. | ||
| From the blood and guts residency at the Imperial Hotel, Erskineville to the times at the | ||
| Regent to the Banksia and Chester Hill Hotels a lot has happened - someone should | ||
| write a book! | ||
| Queensland was a definite turning point as John's decision to leave seemed to be made up | ||
| there. David has suggested we could get back together but alas, this could not be | ||
| so as The Toys have taken over as the least popular band in Sydney (Mark). | ||
| P.S - I really loved every minute of it.......... | ||
| 1981 | Feb 25th | Over the last three months some incredible occurrences have occurred! The Clones - this is |
| their story, nothing has been changed to protect anybody..... | ||
| In October last year, Noel left Mark and Ian who decided to have a rest before embarking | ||
| on a search for two compatible souls to fill the shoes of the departed Clones. | ||
| They were found in Ron Rebel and Brent Beathoven. However, all Brent and Ron | ||
| wanted to do was practice, practice, practice and practice so Mark and Ian decided | ||
| that this wasn't for them and Brent and Ron promptly went out and found another | ||
| guitarist from Tasmania who was into that sort of thing. | ||
| ......ANYWAY, John Salway then hypothetically put it to Mark that they talk about the | ||
| possibility of getting the four original Clones back together as Sid Bernstein had | ||
| offered them $68 to play a reunion concert at Dr. Redbird's which would be | ||
| televised nowhere. Noel thought the whole idea was stupid and promptly agreed. Ian | ||
| was going along with all this thinking it was a joke - (no one's told him yet) "hey Ian, | ||
| it's not a joke." | ||
| So, being the fools that we are we are now a brand new band with Noel, Ian, John | ||
| and Mark or Trevor Filewood, Hans Greco, Sandy Major and Andrew Lung as they are | ||
| now to be known..............[TO BE CONTINUED] | ||
| Mar 8th | Yesterday and Friday we had our first practice with the new band. We learnt lots of new | |
| songs, got lots of complaints from neighbours, reminisced over good times and a few | ||
| bad ones but mostly we just sat around wondering what the hell we were doing! | ||
| I WISH by unknown poet | ||
| I wish that I could sing as good as Shirley Bassey | ||
| I wish that I could act as good as Raymond Massey | ||
| but most of all I wish that I could bark as good as Lassie | ||
| A POEM by John | ||
| What rhymes with poem | ||
| if there's any, I don't know 'em | ||
| Mar 11th | The band will not go on as Noel has been killed. We could have gone on without him but it | |
| would have been too strange having good drumming behind us! | ||
| Anyway, all the best in the big optometrist in the sky Noel....... | ||
| Seriously though, Carmen's on a diet and disappeared completely into a can of | ||
| Nature Slim diet guard, Tracey ate a banana and turned into Emma Hanna, Jennie | ||
| buys a car and turns into her garage, John's gone bald, Shelley doesn't | ||
| get mentioned.........(oops!), Kerry doesn't get mentioned either.........(damn!) | ||
| May | Well, John left again - we are not bemused.....we go on recklessly.... | |
| Oct 3rd | NOEL WRITES: | |
| "Well, Mark has done the pig poo and left our band to choose a bunch of guys - all I can | ||
| say is good luck. Mark will not forget all those years. If we could have made it, great - | ||
| but we didn't so it's good that one of us can make it anyway..." | ||
| Oct 26th | MARK WRITES: | |
| "On Saturday we had our first rehearsal after I rejoined from a brief break. The practice | ||
| only confirmed what we've always known - that we have absolutely no talent | ||
| or potential and will probably never achieve fame or fortune in any field at all - | ||
| let alone music!" | ||
| [It should be pointed out that there appears to be a timing discrepancy in the Clones diary here | ||
| i.e. Mark spent a good deal of 1981 as a member of the Turnaround before rejoining | ||
| Noel & Ian but the original Diary entries are reproduced accurately in the interests of | ||
| nothing in particular really -- just thought I'd mention it - Ed] | ||
| 1982 | Jan 16th | Well we're still at it - practiced today and Saturday.....life will never stop and Mark gets |
| another loan (but just to pay off the last one!!) | ||
| Jan 30th | With Noel's wedding a week away, everyone is feeling quite excited about it and can't wait | |
| for them to go on their honeymoon so we can get some peace and quiet around here!! | ||
| Aug 29th | Isn't it about time someone wrote something in this damn thing?!? | |
| Dec 26th | JOHN WRITES: | |
| "I know this is the band diary and that I really have nothing to do with the band but I'm | ||
| gonna write something in it anyway. No - I can't write about gigs and I can't write about | ||
| practices so I suppose I could write about Christmas. All ex-Clones types and their bits | ||
| and pieces met at Mark's place on Christmas Day. Then John and Mark spent Christmas | ||
| night playing monopoly! (I beat him twice and have the pictures to prove it). Next | ||
| morning, more reunions were planned at Noel's country estate where much sausage | ||
| gnashing will take place." | ||
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